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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Amigos lunch specials

Today I went to work without lunch since I had pretty much no food to speak of in my house, especially food that is somewhat portable that can survive in my circa 1980's cooler with a homemade ice pack for several hours. Lunch time still came and I was starving. I recalled that Amigos had cheap lunch specials and headed there with the three bucks I figured I could afford to spend.

The Wednesday special is 2 soft tacos for $2.49 or one Deluxe burger for $1.99. How about a latte for $1.49 or three glazed donuts for $1.59 since the Amigos near my work is now fully Kopeli-ized and Winchell-ized? Maybe coming soon as Amigos continues to try and make itself relevant in a far different market than it saw 10 years ago.

I ordered the two soft tacos which I figured would be just enough to fill me up until I went home early to clean gutters and hang drywall. Probably one soft taco would have been enough, but one is $1.84 so why not get two at those prices? Maybe I've never ordered a soft taco at Amigos or maybe they're bigger than I remembered. I'm talking soft pinto burrito-sized in girth and weight stuffed with ground beef, cheese, tomatoes (Amigos claims their supplier is from Florida and clean) and that damn hot lettuce.

Hot lettuce is probably my biggest food pet peeve and Amigos is the biggest offender. I used to like getting soft chicken tacos from there before they became as precious as gold price-wise (just goes to show how much more costly canned diced chicken is than really cheap ground beef) and they always nuked the things to near surface of the sun-like temperatures with lettuce in them. Getting a tongue burn from a piece of searing ice berg lettuce is no picnic. Plus, the hot lettuce has a taste that now reminds me of Amigos just like Subway sandwiches, no matter how hard they try with the toaster, still have this flavor that can only be described as Subway, and it's not a great flavor.

Luckily I was dining in so I had the Amigos ranch bar at my full disposal. Dousing the hot lettuce with ranch, salsa, pico and scorching cheese sauce (is there an ingredient in that stuff that raises the boiling point to 300°?) served to mitigate the hot lettuce taste but it also meant I couldn't finish both tacos so disgusted I was with myself. I once saw a man in the UNL Student Union drinking(!) the Amigos ranch from its little plastic cup. I don't want to be that guy.

The point of all this is this: Ask for no lettuce on anything described as "soft" at Amigos.


Anonymous Mr. T said...

I found this to be hilarious...and surprising that a man of your caliber would still WILLINGLY eat at that place with all the other poor souls who still do. I have not entered an Amigos in a few years. God save you.

10:28 PM  
Blogger Swoof said...

I have moments of weakness, Mr. T. I thought it was 2 am Saturday morning when it was only Wednesday afternoon.

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Mr. T said...

Ah yes...a rare moment of stark and bare honesty from the Swoof! One of these days we should hit the new KFC buffet at 9th and South, and just eat the fried chicken skin. You know you have always wanted to.

7:10 PM  
Blogger Swoof said...

Been there, done that, Mr. T. Years ago...

You are becoming quite hostile. We might need to meet over a hot bowl of pho one of these days to talk it out.

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Mr. Wilson said...

@mr. t -- I'm in for the chicken skin dinner, but only if I can soak it in some delectable KFC brown gravy first.

11:26 PM  
Blogger Swoof said...

@Monsieur Wilson - Maybe you'll get lucky and KFC will have a gang of fried chicken backs they'll give you for free.

12:53 AM  
Anonymous Mr. T said...

Good idea. You need to redeem yourself for eating the Amigos tacos. A a nice aromatic bowl of pho should do the trick.

6:41 PM  

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